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[avestan]

(296)
Iri's storehouse
Mirror of Kibisis
Reopening
Persimmon cooking
Rider, bicycle, and the jealous Sakura
The King's clothes are a swimsuit (waterfront king: prologue)
Saber lately
Afternoon light
The battle of today's menu
Sakura-san lately
Fuji-nee's persimmon feast
Towards the "splash"
That past is already
Caster's shopping (hobby edition)
Quo Vadis
Lancer
Lancer's Heaven I
Lancer's Heaven II
Lancer's Heaven III
Wabi-sabi-tsumami
Horn (definitely)
Horn (no echo)
Matou residents
After coming back
Return of the wise man
The big three female Servants' super-battle
Sea of memories
Bridge of eternity - right
Warrior's knowledge
Murder at the Twin Mansion
Spearman at work (flower shop edition)
Her holiday villa
For your forgetful self
Murder at the empty mansion
Caster's delivery
Illya strikes back!
Rider and the sandwich
The light on the way home
Great problem at the archery club
How about a training camp?
Crest fever
Sakura and deluxe lunchbox
Sisters' lunch
Educational guidance
The student council chairman is still going strong.
Let's go for lunch!
Fuji-nee's teacher form
Cat-tiger family rampage
Rin and Mitsuzuri on campus
On the verge of a dream
Plushie
Potato sorrow
Marron pie temptation
Rider, reading, and the jealous Sakura
Light-hearted promise
A guest from 5 years back
The trap of high-class ingredients
Sugar candy teatime
This is not Heaven.
Rider's errand, no return
Cleaning alone
Cleaning with everyone
Caster's shopping (good wife edition)
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 1
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 2
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 3
Familiar kid
Angel and a diamond
Visitor
Suspicious pair
Makidera and Rin's pendant
Loitering on the way, main road
Towards the cultural festival
Caster's cooking practice
Dowsing housing
100 views of corpses
Respecting the countless servants
Iron and the second button
Gorgon's cellar
Selected for the King
Pool tickets and a threatening letter
What kind of wedding?
Sakura's memories
Autumn, sky, and a golden taste
Because I groom it twice a week
Mitsuzuri visits
Rin and high tech
Three girls one day
Killing and a fancy bear
Persistent cooking Caster
Successor
Bridge on an ordinary night - left
Two detectives
Mitsuzuri's revival
Himuro Kane's inquiry
Smuggling, fishing boat, round-the-world trip
Rin's magic lesson
Invisible servant
Sakura, Mitsuzuri, and the archery club
Mitsuzuri Minori
Snake princess in the evening sun
Lunch with the track-and-field club
Day of the festival
Praying Fuji-nee
Rider investigates
Adventures of Himuro Kane
A samurai and a wild flower
Dragon trance military history (??)
Pool and the Mystic Eyes seal
Penguin-shaped shaved ice machine
Level up?
Tohsaka exploration party
The secret to finger pressure massage is devotion.
Dreaming cooking Caster
Gossip between the two
Anachro-analog Rin
Border
Adventures around the maid
Sakura and Caster, united edition
Shin-chan and the sea
Blue Panther vs. Black Panther
Big trouble! The ancient legend of the resurrected supreme king inscribed in stone
Big pursuit! Two teachers, an elf, and an apprentice
Flip-flop 2
Flip-flop 3
School maid
On the way home
Crosswords and shogi problems
Training camp, approval
Justice and the kitten
That night: ghost stories
Curse collector
National treasure
A cat, a priest, and a stubborn teacher
Rin at the temple
monster
Ath nGabla
Final night
Good night
Hero of the bath
Sisters' crisis
The future is now
Airmail
Emiya massage
Quartet overture
Stray tiger
Dead Bridge (I)
Dead Bridge (II)
The things that suit Rider
In London
Peace and quiet (I)
Peace and quiet (II)
Peace and quiet (III)
Peace and quiet (1)
Peace and quiet (2)
Peace and quiet (3)
Ritual window
Kagetsu Tohya
Awakening (fake)
Awakening (not yet)
Silver thread
Decisive battle
Temple guardian
End of the four nights
Cruel teacher
One last drink
Execution appreciated
Those that give and take
The shore where he stayed
Choice sake - proof of the wild
Streets at night (patrol)
Streets at night (battle)
Haunted mansion
Tohsaka's advice
Haunted night
Good night - Illya
Good night - winter
No trespassing
Ghost Gossip
Ghost Gossip Glamorous
Hotel Einzbern
Memory
Twilight castle
Not yet
Reopening
A moment in the morning
Rin comes back
Wish.
Sisters' summer (apple)
Sisters' summer (lemon)
Medical medicine
A siblings' game
Waterfront king
Heaven's dress

(31)
unlimited blade works
heaven's feel
Caren I
Caren II
Caren III
Caren IV
Caren V
Caren (?)
Spider ladder
Spiral ladder
Reverse Moon
Holy Grail
Heaven's Feel Backnight 1 (church)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 2 (rooftop)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (Dialogue Möbiuslink)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (out on the town)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (love)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 4 (Endless)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 5 (Void)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 6 (arm)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 6 (church)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 7 (Cradle Hollow)
Chaldea
Accel/Zero Order
Unlimited raise/dead
Let's Tell a Tale of World Salvation

Comments

8 - Heaven's Feel Backnight 6 (Angra Mainyu) CW TORTURE, FINGER AND EYE SQUICKS

[avestan]

--The first year was spent deciding who to hate.

For a long time, he had been living in happiness.

He was born in a plain, not so wealthy family.
He had parents that were normal and a sister much younger than him. He woke up early in the morning, helping his father in the forest, carrying back the yield of the day to the village.
That world of his was simple. His everyday life didn’t change.

That work had gone on for decades.
His father and his father’s father probably entered the forest and lived under the grace of the mountain the same way. Just like his father and grandfather, he was also going to live a dull and boring life.
There was the restlessness of youth, but he knew that would leave him as the years passed.
A roof to sleep under, enough food not to starve, and the warmth of his neighbors. That was all he could ever ask for.

But why, why did it have to turn out like that?
Villagers were at least entitled to this dull life. It hadn’t been a rich village, but it brimmed with the rightness of being able to live normally and die quietly.

The other villagers weren’t any different from him.
The other villagers thought of him as one of them.

...This vexes him even now.
Nothing had suddenly gone wrong.
There was no mistake anywhere.
The choice that was made had been, undeniably, the will of humanity, including himself.

--That’s why it still vexes him even now.
Had it at least been the will of heaven, he could have cursed god’s cruelty and been done with it.

“--Filthy demon--”

It came without any warning.
As naturally as saying “good morning” to another.

“--First, the eyes--”

Leaving the house, he went towards the woods like always.
He said “hello” to a passing neighbor, but was ignored.
The disaster took place in the middle of the village.
Villagers he had never met surrounded him, and he would never return there again.

“--Hey, save the left one for later--”

The ceremony was performed calmly.
Apparently, he had been the devil himself.
This fact, unknown even to him until now, left the people in grief and disgust. Finally, their anger rose up, and his fate was decided.

“--Damn noisy he is. Should’ve taken care of the throat--”

There was more doubt than fear within him.
Why?
Why do this?
Why did this happen?
Why did it have to be him, of all people?
After all, no matter how hard he thought about it, there wasn’t a trace of a pretext to be found.

...And on top of that, how?

“--Yeah. Just let him breathe, I guess--”

How could they do such a thing?

“--Cut the tendons in his arms and legs. Only the tendons, mind you. His body belongs to everyone in this village, you must leave enough for everyone--”

Several men took care of the ceremony.
Cursed by almost everyone he knew, his arms and legs lost their function even while retaining their shape.
“This is your punishment for not endowing our lives with abundance!” they said, and they meted out appropriate punishment to every part of his body.

“--Cut his tongue off too. As if we’d give him the satisfaction of letting him die--”

Insulted by many of those he knew, he was covered in filth.
“This is what you get for threatening our lives!” they said, and every part of his body rewarded their discontent.

“--Serves you right, you damned demon--!”

That was the end of him as an individual human.
His emotions were destroyed by the pain of losing his body.
His rational mind was destroyed from the sorrow of losing his dignity.

(I’ll slaughter you.)

And so…
He had been kneeling for who knows how long.
Not a single moan escaped him.
The branch piercing through his throat had started to rot.
His tongue had been ripped out long ago.
His vocal organs had become inflamed after a night of screaming.

(Why?)

People that knew him, people that didn’t know him, he was abused by everyone alike.
The administering of justice needs no reason.
They, with their righteous anger and morals, hated the demon confined atop the mountain without an ounce of shame.
“The likes of you should not live,” they laughed.
Yet they would not even do him the kindness of killing him.

Hatred begets more hatred.
Going beyond terror and confusion, a hatred was eventually born within him.
But who must this hatred be directed at?

Why?
Why?
Why?
He thought and spoke this question too many times to count.
Even as one of his eyes was crushed, and as his fingers were cut off by some scissor-like tool, the words he managed to squeeze out of his throat were, “Why me?”
None of the villagers would tell him.

Please stop.
Please send me back.
Please save me.
He did not put voice to those wishes he had already given up hope on.
He had accepted it when the last of his fingers and toes, the big toe on his left foot, was cut off by the person who had once been his father.
He had only a single wish left.
Why me? That question alone was his final request, but nobody would tell him.

The moment he realized the answer, he became a real demon.

There was no reason as to why he was a demon.
There was no reason for him to be chosen as the sacrifice.
To begin with, the village elders -- the people in power never even knew him.
Anyone would have been fine.
It was not that he was hated because of his sins.
Neither was he isolated because of his good deeds.
As a completely dull, ordinary person, he was chosen completely by chance.

...Just for the sake of a one-day luxury, people he never met ended the life of a human that they never knew.
That’s all there is to it.
Merely to fulfill the desires of a single night, his life, fostered well for decades, was trampled upon and crushed.

This world is governed by things that are not people.

The moment he realized that, he decided upon the target of his hatred.

--Angra Mainyu (“All the Evil in the World”).

The revered effigy thus became a genuine demon.
An egg that will never hatch.
An anti-hero of this small world that would rid it of all sins.

He had no limbs to struggle in pain.
His limbs were completely severed.
Only his heart was still alive.
No arms, no legs, no dignity left. He had no functions as a human, but his sense of pain alone had yet to fail him.

He took on a countless amount of hatred,
while bringing forth hatred just as infinite.

His collapsed personality gained order in its own broken way.
He was stone.
Never going outside the stone prison, his body wasn’t allowed to move at all.
The eyelid of his remaining left eye was fixed, not allowing it to close.
His dry, cracked eyeball continued to stare at the outside world.
He was just like a stone statue. A stone statue that was conscious.
Without taking a single step, he watched the unchanging scenery for a month, a year, decades.

He could neither avert nor close his eye.
The treatment that would make him forget the fact that he was still alive before the tedium sickened his mind would, in fact, continue until his death.
What frightened him, however, was the fact that this torture, difficult to bear for even a single day, would last for his entire lifetime--
A healthy person’s sanity would surely fall apart in no more than seven days.
What allowed him to endure it, what preserved his soul, was the fact that his sanity had already been broken.

Unchanging scenery wouldn’t break him.
That which spread beneath his eye was his hometown.
The people that called him a demon as they turned him into a real one. The village that the hatred came from. He had an unbroken view of it all.
A repulsive mass of good will, prospering by sacrificing the weak.
He will continue to hate as long as he lives.
This absurdity.
The hidden repulsiveness of mankind.
The overly tolerant world that approved of it.

All that’s left in this stone prison is the hatred that has been scorched in.
Neither the personality nor the body that once belonged to him are in here.
The soul in his physical body was annihilated long ago.
It has already become something else.
Only the hatred born from within him continues to smolder within his body, even to this day--

Who knows how many years passed like that.
To him, having lost his sense of time, the world continued its dizzying transformation even as it stagnated.
The ties he had from back when he was human were no exception.
The people that chose him, the people that took away his legs and arms, the people that were his blood relatives, the people that hated him, the people that he loved.

Their hatred did not last as long as that held by the human they sacrificed.
Those who stole everything from him disappeared from this world before he did.

...Like shooting stars.
The strong, merciless flicker of the ever-coming days burned into his eyeball.

For a long time,
he was left in that sunny spot.

He saw so many lives.
The result of too many meaningless lives.
Consuming time and space, burning up their own lives recklessly, bearing children, amassing riches, yet ending without a trace.

Hollow as they may have been, they were not void.

Although they ended, it wasn’t as though they did not continue.

The wheel of time keeps turning.
Lives wither, then bloom again.
The cycle of prosperity and decay.
The scenery before him kept on spinning.
There were times of destruction, overrun by believers of a different faith.
There were times of expansion, taking in fresh blood.
Throughout it all, he continued to stare with hatred.
Hatred was the only means by which he could connect to it.

--There is evil atop this mountain, breathing malice into all of us.

That became a teaching passed down in the village since old times.
As long as there was hatred, as long as he was hated, he would not die.
The new villagers hated, worshiped, and thanked him as their everyday enemy.
The young man who had become the demon didn’t even exist there anymore.

Hatred that gave birth to nothing.
A blank space that existed to help life advance smoothly, day after day.
An open hole in their everyday life, a dumping ground that received all their overflowing emotions.

What a convenient -- false void that could never become anything.

That village, too, disappeared in a flash.
Neither decaying, nor prospering.
Times changed, people changed, and the mountain village, having fulfilled its role, went back to being an open field.

Everything he hated disappeared without a trace.
His name and body had been lost, and he had even lost sight of his soul.
And in the end, even hatred left him behind.

And yet, he is still connected to this place.
Many years passed.
People perished, the village perished, but even after his own body died, he cannot move from here.
The hatred burned into this place is unchanging and undying.
As long as the world of humans continues on, it will exist forever.

In this empty wasteland.
Forever gazing at the end of the world--