registry

[avestan]

(296)
Iri's storehouse
Mirror of Kibisis
Reopening
Persimmon cooking
Rider, bicycle, and the jealous Sakura
The King's clothes are a swimsuit (waterfront king: prologue)
Saber lately
Afternoon light
The battle of today's menu
Sakura-san lately
Fuji-nee's persimmon feast
Towards the "splash"
That past is already
Caster's shopping (hobby edition)
Quo Vadis
Lancer
Lancer's Heaven I
Lancer's Heaven II
Lancer's Heaven III
Wabi-sabi-tsumami
Horn (definitely)
Horn (no echo)
Matou residents
After coming back
Return of the wise man
The big three female Servants' super-battle
Sea of memories
Bridge of eternity - right
Warrior's knowledge
Murder at the Twin Mansion
Spearman at work (flower shop edition)
Her holiday villa
For your forgetful self
Murder at the empty mansion
Caster's delivery
Illya strikes back!
Rider and the sandwich
The light on the way home
Great problem at the archery club
How about a training camp?
Crest fever
Sakura and deluxe lunchbox
Sisters' lunch
Educational guidance
The student council chairman is still going strong.
Let's go for lunch!
Fuji-nee's teacher form
Cat-tiger family rampage
Rin and Mitsuzuri on campus
On the verge of a dream
Plushie
Potato sorrow
Marron pie temptation
Rider, reading, and the jealous Sakura
Light-hearted promise
A guest from 5 years back
The trap of high-class ingredients
Sugar candy teatime
This is not Heaven.
Rider's errand, no return
Cleaning alone
Cleaning with everyone
Caster's shopping (good wife edition)
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 1
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 2
Mimic Tohsaka Lvl 3
Familiar kid
Angel and a diamond
Visitor
Suspicious pair
Makidera and Rin's pendant
Loitering on the way, main road
Towards the cultural festival
Caster's cooking practice
Dowsing housing
100 views of corpses
Respecting the countless servants
Iron and the second button
Gorgon's cellar
Selected for the King
Pool tickets and a threatening letter
What kind of wedding?
Sakura's memories
Autumn, sky, and a golden taste
Because I groom it twice a week
Mitsuzuri visits
Rin and high tech
Three girls one day
Killing and a fancy bear
Persistent cooking Caster
Successor
Bridge on an ordinary night - left
Two detectives
Mitsuzuri's revival
Himuro Kane's inquiry
Smuggling, fishing boat, round-the-world trip
Rin's magic lesson
Invisible servant
Sakura, Mitsuzuri, and the archery club
Mitsuzuri Minori
Snake princess in the evening sun
Lunch with the track-and-field club
Day of the festival
Praying Fuji-nee
Rider investigates
Adventures of Himuro Kane
A samurai and a wild flower
Dragon trance military history (??)
Pool and the Mystic Eyes seal
Penguin-shaped shaved ice machine
Level up?
Tohsaka exploration party
The secret to finger pressure massage is devotion.
Dreaming cooking Caster
Gossip between the two
Anachro-analog Rin
Border
Adventures around the maid
Sakura and Caster, united edition
Shin-chan and the sea
Blue Panther vs. Black Panther
Big trouble! The ancient legend of the resurrected supreme king inscribed in stone
Big pursuit! Two teachers, an elf, and an apprentice
Flip-flop 2
Flip-flop 3
School maid
On the way home
Crosswords and shogi problems
Training camp, approval
Justice and the kitten
That night: ghost stories
Curse collector
National treasure
A cat, a priest, and a stubborn teacher
Rin at the temple
monster
Ath nGabla
Final night
Good night
Hero of the bath
Sisters' crisis
The future is now
Airmail
Emiya massage
Quartet overture
Stray tiger
Dead Bridge (I)
Dead Bridge (II)
The things that suit Rider
In London
Peace and quiet (I)
Peace and quiet (II)
Peace and quiet (III)
Peace and quiet (1)
Peace and quiet (2)
Peace and quiet (3)
Ritual window
Kagetsu Tohya
Awakening (fake)
Awakening (not yet)
Silver thread
Decisive battle
Temple guardian
End of the four nights
Cruel teacher
One last drink
Execution appreciated
Those that give and take
The shore where he stayed
Choice sake - proof of the wild
Streets at night (patrol)
Streets at night (battle)
Haunted mansion
Tohsaka's advice
Haunted night
Good night - Illya
Good night - winter
No trespassing
Ghost Gossip
Ghost Gossip Glamorous
Hotel Einzbern
Memory
Twilight castle
Not yet
Reopening
A moment in the morning
Rin comes back
Wish.
Sisters' summer (apple)
Sisters' summer (lemon)
Medical medicine
A siblings' game
Waterfront king
Heaven's dress

(31)
unlimited blade works
heaven's feel
Caren I
Caren II
Caren III
Caren IV
Caren V
Caren (?)
Spider ladder
Spiral ladder
Reverse Moon
Holy Grail
Heaven's Feel Backnight 1 (church)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 2 (rooftop)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (Dialogue Möbiuslink)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (out on the town)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 3 (love)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 4 (Endless)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 5 (Void)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 6 (arm)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 6 (church)
Heaven's Feel Backnight 7 (Cradle Hollow)
Chaldea
Accel/Zero Order
Unlimited raise/dead
Let's Tell a Tale of World Salvation

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3 - Will of the Holy Grail CW GUY KILLING HIS CHILD AND WIFE

[avestan]

[the memory is seen from Iri's perspective rather than Kiritsugu's, I'm just too lazy to edit it]

The killing continued. With bullets, knives, poisons, explosives; piercing, cleaving, immolating, drowning, crushing.
He never doubted its meaning, not once; he carefully estimated each value. The ones on the lower side of the scales must be saved; the other side must be emptied, so he killed. He kept killing, and killing, and killing.
Yes, that was correct. The many should be saved, and the sacrifices should be recognized. If the joys he protected outweighed the misfortunes, would the world not have moved a little closer to its salvation? Even if innumerable corpses piled at his feet, as long as lives were saved, the ones that were protected were surely priceless.
“—That’s right, Kiritsugu. You are right.” Suddenly, he saw his wife at his side. With a smile filled with gentle kindness, she drew closer to him, standing next to him on the mountain of corpses. “I knew you would come. I believed in you, knowing that you would arrive here eventually.”
“Iri—” It was a nostalgic and lovely face, but something about it that bothered him. Was it the black dress he had never seen before? Part of it; however, he could not help feeling he was overlooking something more important.
That’s right; what happened to Saber? What happened to the remaining three teams of enemies? What happened to Kotomine Kirei? There were far too many questions. Which one should he start with? Helplessly, Kiritsugu asked the question that first came to mind.
“What is this place?”
“This is where your wish will be granted. We are inside the Grail you sought.” Irisviel answered with a welcoming smile. Kiritsugu was lost for words, and looked around him.
A pulsating sea of black mud. Rotten corpses formed sunken mountains here and there. The sky was crimson, like blood. In the descending rain of black mud, a jet-black sun held up the heavens. Winds of curses and resentment blew. If there was a word, for this place, how can it be anything but Hell?
“You’re saying … this is the Holy Grail?”
“That’s right. But fear not, it is still merely a shapeless dream, just waiting to be born.”
“Look, there.” Irisviel pointed to the sky. At the center of this world, there was a swirl of deep black that he originally thought was a sun, a hole that pierced the heavens. A hole filled to the brim with heavy, bottomless darkness, an incredible mass that seemed able to crush all. “That is the Holy Grail. It has yet to obtain a shape, but the vessel is already sufficiently filled. All that is needed now is to announce the prayer. No matter what wish you may ask of it, it will take a form most fitting to realize it. Once it obtains form and shape in this era, it will be able to go outside for the first time.”
“…”
“Please, hurry and give it shape. You are a human fit to define its nature. Kiritsugu, announce your wish to the Grail.”
Kiritsugu wordlessly gazed at that repulsive hole. It could not possibly be tolerated by any human of proper sensibility. How is Irisviel able to smile so calmly? Yes, that smile certainly felt out of place. After all—
“… Who are you?” Stifling his sense of dread with anger, Kiritsugu asked the wife who stood before him. “If the preparations of the Grail are in order, Irisviel should already be lost to me. Just who are you?”
“I am Irisviel. There is no problem in thinking that.”
The muzzle of the magecraft gun in Kiritsugu’s right hand, the Contender he had been grasping tightly the whole time since the battle with Kirei, was now thrust at his opponent.
“Don’t dodge the question. Answer me!”
Before the bloodthirsty muzzle, the woman in the black dress simply smiled with loneliness, seemingly pitying Kiritsugu for such demands.
“… True, I can’t deny that this is a mask. If I don’t put on an existing personality as a shell, we would not be able to comprehend one another. I had to take this form to convey my desire. But the personality of Irisviel which I recorded is unmistakably genuine. The last thing she touched before her extinguishment was me. That is why I inherited her last desire; it is my duty to personify her wish to remain this way.”
With that confession, Kiritsugu understood, not as theory but as instinct. In this place, the inside of the Holy Grail, an existence which would call itself one who is no one could only be—
“—Are you … the will of the Holy Grail?”
“That interpretation is not incorrect.” Irisviel’s form nodded in approval, but Kiritsugu further furrowed his brows in restless bewilderment.
“That’s ridiculous. The Holy Grail can’t be anything more than a colorless force. There’s no way it can have a will.”
“That might be so before. But it’s different now. I have a will, and a desire. The will to be born into this world.”
“That can’t be …” Strange—something was strange. If this was true, would this thing not be the convenient wishing machine that Kiritsugu had sought.
“—If you have a will, answer me this. How does the Holy Grail plan to grant my desire?”
As though she was asked something incredibly strange, Irisviel tilted her head.
“That? Isn’t that something you, Kiritsugu, know better than anyone else?”
“… What did you say?”
“The nature of a human being like you is infinitely close to mine. That is why you can preserve your rationality even after being connected to me. The mind of normal humans would have collapsed the moment they were washed over by that mud.” Irisviel spoke, cheerfully, brightly, as though in celebration. The smile disturbed Kiritsugu’s heart. “The way to save the world? Haven’t you already understood that a long time ago? That is why I, according to what you have built up, will inherit that nature, and achieve what you had prayed for.”
“What are you—talking about?” Kiritsugu could not understand. He did not want to understand, not even if he was mistaken. “Answer me. What is the Holy Grail planning to do? What will it start if it materializes in this era?!”
At this exchange of endless disagreement, Irisviel sighed in resignation, and nodded.
“It can’t be helped. From now on, I will ask from inside you.”
She held her white and graceful palm over Kiritsugu’s eyes, and the world blacked out.

Two ships floated on the ocean. One held three hundred people; the other held two hundred people. There were five hundred crew members and passengers in total, in addition to Emiya Kiritsugu. For this thought experiment, the five hundred and one were set up as the last survivors of the human race.
Emiya Kiritsugu will now take charge of this role-play and address the following propositions. Holes of critical size have opened up in the bilges of both ships at the same time. Only Kiritsugu possessed the skill to repair the ships. In the time it takes to repair one ship, the other will sink.
Now then, which ship will you fix?
“… The one with three hundred aboard, of course.”
After you make that decision, the two hundred aboard the other ship capture you and make this demand: “Fix this ship first!” Now then, what will you do?
“I …” Before he could speak his reply, a Calico submachine gun appeared in Kiritsugu’s hand. Flames savagely spouted from its muzzle, the machine seemingly acting on its own will. Kiritsugu watched it, dumbfounded. A single bullet pierced four people, and all two hundred people were massacred in an instant. That is correct. That is what one would expect from Emiya Kiritsugu. Kiritsugu watched in a daze as the ship sank, carrying its mountain of stacked corpses. He got the feeling that every one of the corpses scattered on the deck had faces that he recognized.
Now then, the surviving three hundred people abandon the damaged ship, split onto two new ships, and continue their voyage. This time, one ship held two hundred people; the other held one hundred people. Once again, holes open up in the bilges of both ships at the same time.
“Hold it …”
The one hundred aboard the smaller ship abduct you, and coerce you to fix their ship first. Now then, what will you do?
“But … that’s …”
With the flash of a naked sword, and a bomb burst, one hundred people disappeared into watery graves. That was the way of Emiya Kiritsugu. The slaughter was accomplished according to precedents he had set in the past. That is correct.
“That’s … that’s ridiculous!” What had been correct about this?
Two hundred people survived. Three hundred people died for them— that was the complete opposite of the scale’s balance needle. No, the calculation was not incorrect. You certainly chose to save the many and sacrifice the few. Now, on to the next quest. Indifferent to Kiritsugu’s protests, the gamemaster continued.
A hundred and twenty were balanced against eighty on the scales. Kiritsugu killed every single one of the eighty.
Next, it was eighty against forty. The Magus Killer ascertained the death throes of the forty. He remembered every face. They were the ones who had been killed by his hands in the past.
Sixty against twenty—
Twenty-five against fifteen—
The choices continued. The sacrifices continued. The mountain of corpses grew.
“This … is what you wanted to show me?” Even as Kiritsugu recalled his nausea at the aim of this vile game, he listened intently to the thing that called itself the will of the Holy Grail.
That’s right. This is your truth, the answer within Emiya Kiritsugu. In other words, the acts that should be carried out by the Holy Grail as a wishing machine.
“No!” Kiritsugu shouted, his hands stained by blood. “I didn’t wish for something like this! I wanted some other method … that’s why I had no choice but to rely on a miracle …”
A method you yourself are not aware of could not possibly be included in your desire. You wished for the salvation of the world; therefore, it can only be realized by the means you are aware of.
“To hell with that! How is … this a miracle?!”
It is a miracle. What you had once aspired for, the deed that you were unable to achieve alone will finally be carried out on a scale unattainable by Man’s own hands. This is nothing short of a miracle.
Five remained. They were all important to Kiritsugu. But he was pressed to choose either the three or the two. Whimpering in despair, he pulled the trigger. The face of Emiya Noritaka was blown away. The gray matter of Natalia Kaminsky was scattered.
“You … you’re going to descend onto the modern era, and … do this to the entire human race? This is the realization of my ideal?!”
That’s right. Your desire is a suitable form for the Holy Grail. Emiya Kiritsugu, you truly are suited to bear ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓.
Three remained. Will he save the two, or choose the one? He grasped the hilt of his knife with shaking hands. His tears had already run dry. With ghostly, empty eyes, Kiritsugu tore Hisau Maiya’s body apart. Again, and again, he swung the knife down.
And now, only two who survived in the world. Two equal values which did not need weighing on the scales, which could not be measured—the last hope he protected to the end, and exchanged with the lives of four hundred and ninty-eight people. Everything now accomplished, Kiritsugu, dazed and husk-like, was embraced by the warmth of a hearth.
In a nostalgic, gentle, warm room, smiling gazes were exchanged between the faces of his wife and daughter. This … was the world of tranquility which he sought. There would be no more conflict; no one will have to be hurt. It was a perfect utopia.
“Welcome home, Kiritsugu. You’re finally back!”
Her joyful face beaming, Ilyasviel swung her small arms around her father’s neck. The castle enclosed by clouds in the farthest north was the only place of tranquility. At the end of a bloodstained life, he found a kindness which should not even exist. If this modest child’s room was itself the entirety of the world, there would no longer be a need for discord.
“—See? You understand, don’t you? This is the Holy Grail’s realization of your prayer.” Sharing this moment of utter bliss with her husband, Irisviel smiled.
All that was needed, was to pray for it. His wife could be awakened. His daughter could be brought back. For a nearinfinite amount of prana, it would be a simple miracle. The only thing left was bliss. As the remnants of humanity on this planet of death where everything had perished, the family of three could continue to live in eternal happiness.
“… We, can’t go looking for walnuts anymore …” There was not even a snowy landscape outside the window, but simply a swirling back mud, like the bottom of the sea. At Kiritsugu’s absentminded murmur, Ilyasviel shook her head.
“It’s all right. I’ll be fine as long as Kiritsugu and Mother are together with me.”
Petting and hugging the head of the daughter he frantically loved, Kiritsugu cried surging tears. “Thank you … Daddy loves you too, Ilya. I swear, if nothing else, that is true …”
But the hands moved without faltering, like mechanical contraptions. Against the small chin of his beloved daughter, the Contender’s muzzle was tightly pressed.
“Goodbye, Ilya.”
The head of the little girl staring puzzledly exploded with the sound of a gunshot. On Kiritsugu’s tear-stained cheeks, a piece of meat, entangled with silver hair, landed. Irisviel screamed. Tearing at her eyes, tossing her hair wildly, she cried out in fury, without control.
“Wha—what did you do—?!”
His wife came reaching out to him with the face of a devil, but it was Kiritsugu who pressed down on her instead, entwining his fingers around that small throat.
“The Holy Grail is something that cannot exist …”
No matter what was inside, the personality of Irisviel it wore as a shell was real. The despair and lamentation of her daughter’s murder; the hatred for the husband who killed her own child; they were unmistakably what the real Irisviel would have bore— her genuine emotions. Staring at it, accepting it, Kiritsugu put all his strength into his two hands, and pressed down on the neck of his wife.
“What are … you … why did you … reject the Grail, reject us …? My Ilya … no, why?!”
“—Because I—”
The voice that leaked from his mouth was empty, like a wind blowing from a hollow cave through a crevice. There was no sorrow or anger; it was obvious that there was no longer anything inside Emiya Kiritsugu. He turned his back on the miracle he had pursued, and relinquished even the compensation for that betrayal. There could not be anything inside him now.
“I … will save the world.” The only thing left, persisting to the very end, was those words of his belief. How hollow those ringing words were! Irisviel stared at Kiritsugu as blood congested on her white face. The crimson eyes that always looked at him with nothing but affection and admiration were now stained by bottomless cursing and resentment.
“—Curse you—” The five small fingers, once so graceful, grabbed Kiritsugu’s shoulder. From the five fingers biting into him flowed a black mud.
“Curse you … Emiya Kiritsugu … to pain … to regret until death … I will never, forgive you …!”
“That is fine.” The hatred-stained mud circulated in his veins, flowing into his heart. It drenched the soul of the man who lost everything. Still, Kiritsugu’s fingers did not slacken. Forgetting even the meaning of the tears down his cheeks, he told the woman in the black dress as he continued to strangle her. “That is all right. Like I said—I will bear you.”
In his shaking hands, the woman’s spine snapped and broke. And the landscape was altered once again.